I have always been a master at score-keeping.
In high school I chose to stop playing on the girls basketball team and become the official statistician. My coach and my parents were surprised at my decision since it looked like I’d be offered athletic scholarships to play at a few smaller colleges. But I’d lost my passion for playing basketball, and preferred to watch it. I created a well running system in which to keep not only the stats, but creatively record background information about each game, each player, and their strengths as a player.
When it comes to board games my family and friends usually hand over the notepad and paper for me to keep score. From Payday to Rummy 500; I just love keeping a tally and watching every intricate move to make sure every player is following the rules and receiving the proper credit for playing according to those rules.
Apparently I’m the master score keeper in my marriage as well. I can remember every time my husband hurt me. I can remember every time he left my car with less than a half tank of gas. I can remember every time he was tired after a long day at work, and said something rude to me. I can remember every time he made a promise and couldn’t follow through. I don’t forget.
The problem with this is every time I tally up the scores to see who’s in the lead; who’s doing a better ‘job” at being a spouse; who’s sacrificing more, or who’s to “blame” for any rough patches, I am not only undermining the power of God’s love, but I am literally demonstrating the opposite of God’s character.
1 Corinthians 13 says :
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Hmmm…did you notice the part that read it keeps no record of wrongs.
Since God IS Love; this scripture lists in great detail what an expression of His love looks like.
His love isn’t “I told you so”.
His love isn’t “Remember when you did…”
His love isn’t tit for tat , and holding over the head.
It’s grace. It’s forgiveness. It covers.
So for valentine’s Day, hubby and I didn’t give each other tangible, perishable gifts.
We gave each other God’s word.
I’m hanging up my job as statistician and asking the Lord for a heart that freely forgives; even when the gas is left under half a tank.
Because I LOVE my husband.