Monthly Archives: March 2011

Work Your Faith (HisLove :revealed)


On Monday I started an all attack against the 20lbs off & on in the last 18 months since having my daughter.

Eating late, lack of exercise, lots of brownies and ice cream….they’re factors I’m well aware of.

It has been a stressful year and at times I’ve leaned to the comfort of sleep & eating instead of turning my trust to God.

Now that I’m in the midst of a complete emotional & spiritual overhaul; it’s time to deal with the physical….HEAD ON.

I started Monday with cardio and an increase in water and decrease in soda.

Tuesday : I increased the time on the cardio machine, walked on the treadmill and ate smaller portions of healthier foods throughout the day.

Yesterday I felt brave and took a 40 minute zumba class, and just hours later did another 30 minute cardio workout.

Last night….I felt it.

The pain. The resistance. The breaking down.

And it wasn’t just physical.

I cried myself to sleep last night for no particular reason. My husband prayed over me and then because he knows me well….left me alone to just “cry it out”.

Yesterday my enthusiasm hit a brick wall called PAIN.

I couldn’t help but begin to think about the ways these last few days of physical work out & changing of habits correlates to the spiritual part of my life.

In the last 6-8 weeks God has been purging , re-shaping, re-aligning and challenging me.

There have been days I have felt like I am on the mountain top; filled with excitement and zeal for the Lord and all that He is doing in me.

There have been other days that I have felt rung out, drained, tired and somewhat beat down from all the resistance I’m struggling with.

This flesh does NOT want to change.

Some of my habits have been in control for YEARS and they are not falling to submission without an all out war.

I’ve thought negatively about myself and about the way God feels about me in certain areas for so long that parts of who I am BREED off of these negative words & lies.

Now that I’m starving those lies it is sometimes a PRESS to confess and BELIEVE what God says about me in HIS word.

It’s a press.

It’s a press against the resistance and change.

It’s a press.

I love the way the message bible paints this picture so plainly….

We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary-we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit. (Romans 3-5)

Now THAT’s delicious word.

This scripture illustrates how all of the purging, and hammering, and struggle develops more “Christ-character” in us and prepares us to receive the overwhelming blessings He desires to pour out on us.

Troubles hurt us. But troubles taken head on through the strength of Christ develop in us a richness of character that exemplifies our Savior.


So today….me & my sore back….me & my odd emotions… and my tired eyelids are going to the gym.

Today I will PRESS past the physical pain & focus on what is being developed as I work.

Endurance. Muscle. Weight loss.

There is an expected end .

In this journey with Christ we must do the same. Embrace the challenges of this life and focus on the Christ of the work instead of the “work” of our Christ.

drop the weight.

dig in.

press. press. press.

It all works together.

It hurts….but it helps.

Work your faith.


I’m ok with Now (HisLove :revealed)


I am learning lessons and truths about God and walking with Him.

Lessons I wish I’d learned earlier so I hadn’t endured so many hopeless nights.

Lessons I wish I’d embraced sooner so I could truly minister freedom to others.

Lessons I wish I’d understood prior to now so that by now I’d be a better wife, mother and all around person.

But I’m learning now.

One lesson that I am embracing on a daily basis is how to be content.

When I look at the last 18-24 months of my life I reflect on some incredible highs as well as some crushing lows.

We’ve made steps of faith that ended in progress and advancement.

In that same token, we’ve made steps of faith that left us empty-handed and broken in spirit.

We’ve come back to a place that seemed to move on while we were across the country pressing through the greatest trials of our life.

We assumed coming “home” would mean peace, a chance to regroup, and jumping back into the wave of life here in the familiar.

It hasn’t been that way at all.

Life kept going for some of our friends….

The church we were heavily involved in and dedicated to seems foreign now.

Things are disheveled and scattered.

For at least 3 months; this wore on me to the point of tears.

I’d cry at night; feeling like we had nowhere to “belong”.

I’d watch my friends interact with one another with ease while I felt abandoned and uncomfortable.

I felt as if I always had to explain our situation because assumptions and generalizations had been made.

I lived every day hoping that the next day would bring change.

To my delight; change has come.

Change has come IN ME.

By God’s grace I have decided to be OK with RIGHT NOW.

All the ups & downs, the uncertainties, the maybe’s, whens & what if’s……its all ok.

I am learning to be CONTENT.

I now understand what Paul said…..

I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. (Phillipians 4:12) ESV

Here in lies the secret :

I can do all things through him who strengthens me. (Phillipians 4:13) ESV

I can live this life….I can run this race…I can keep the faith…I can press forward….I can hold on…

I can do it all THROUGH Christ who strengthens me.

Not by my own power, strength or ability,

But through Christ.

I am enjoying this journey of faith more than ever.

I am relying completely on the strength of my unfailing Savior and the promises He’s made to me.

I’m something much greater than happy.

I am Content.

Losing & Loving (HisLove :revealed)


March 7th, 2008

A day I’ll never forget.

My perfectly round “poked out belly”.

I couldn’t stop rubbing my belly.

It seems as if I was overprotective of this child from the moment I found out I was expecting.

When I look back it’s as if there was a knowing….I knew this baby was fragile.

So fragile….to the point of breaking.



I held the broken fetus in my hands with streams of tears pouring down my face….

I hoped….I prayed…I wished….

for LIFE.

but my baby was broken and gone.

A piece of me died that day. I didn’t just lose a baby.

I lost alot of selfish ways.

I lost tolerance for foolishness and deceitfulness.

I lost the desire for momentary gain, success and wealth.

In the days following the miscarriage it felt as if I were living in a dream state.

I remember the sound of the passing cars outside our bedroom window.

I remember the sound of the soft rain on the window….not quite patterned, but rhythmic in it’s dance.

I felt hypnotized.

My baby was gone.

But there was a love….this deep , resounding love that sang through my heart loudly.

Yes, for my child….but even more so for this loving God who was somehow holding me in His arms giving me strength to breathe.

This God who knew my child by name and knew each tear I cried over losing him.

I saw this God even when I held that delicate fetus in my hand….although already passed on…still real and being formed in the image of God.

His magnificence was real even in death.

I still cry for my son. I dreamed of him for weeks after the miscarriage, and I wondered what he could’ve been on this earth.

I longed to know his smile. I longed to know the smell of his hair. I longed to know his personality. I longed to hold him.

I’ll never forget the day I lost him.

But even more….I’ll never forget the way Jesus held me with His strong arms, His gentle voice, and wrapped me in His unfailing love.

I lost him….but HE loved me.

His Love :revealed

Christian……I still think of you……