I am learning lessons and truths about God and walking with Him.
Lessons I wish I’d learned earlier so I hadn’t endured so many hopeless nights.
Lessons I wish I’d embraced sooner so I could truly minister freedom to others.
Lessons I wish I’d understood prior to now so that by now I’d be a better wife, mother and all around person.
But I’m learning now.
One lesson that I am embracing on a daily basis is how to be content.
When I look at the last 18-24 months of my life I reflect on some incredible highs as well as some crushing lows.
We’ve made steps of faith that ended in progress and advancement.
In that same token, we’ve made steps of faith that left us empty-handed and broken in spirit.
We’ve come back to a place that seemed to move on while we were across the country pressing through the greatest trials of our life.
We assumed coming “home” would mean peace, a chance to regroup, and jumping back into the wave of life here in the familiar.
It hasn’t been that way at all.
Life kept going for some of our friends….
The church we were heavily involved in and dedicated to seems foreign now.
Things are disheveled and scattered.
For at least 3 months; this wore on me to the point of tears.
I’d cry at night; feeling like we had nowhere to “belong”.
I’d watch my friends interact with one another with ease while I felt abandoned and uncomfortable.
I felt as if I always had to explain our situation because assumptions and generalizations had been made.
I lived every day hoping that the next day would bring change.
To my delight; change has come.
Change has come IN ME.
By God’s grace I have decided to be OK with RIGHT NOW.
All the ups & downs, the uncertainties, the maybe’s, whens & what if’s……its all ok.
I am learning to be CONTENT.
I now understand what Paul said…..
I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. (Phillipians 4:12) ESV
Here in lies the secret :
I can do all things through him who strengthens me. (Phillipians 4:13) ESV
I can live this life….I can run this race…I can keep the faith…I can press forward….I can hold on…
I can do it all THROUGH Christ who strengthens me.
Not by my own power, strength or ability,
But through Christ.
I am enjoying this journey of faith more than ever.
I am relying completely on the strength of my unfailing Savior and the promises He’s made to me.
I’m something much greater than happy.
I am Content.