Monthly Archives: April 2011

Let’s Survive this Together {HisLove:revealed}

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Marriage…..

more than a pretty white dress.

more than moments captured; filled with smiles and dreams ahead.

more than petals scattered on a white runner.

more than the waiting and the knowing….

Marriage is much more.

Marriage is a decision….every day to be united as one with a person who has flaws, shortcomings, and imperfections….

Marriage is a work that is never done….sometimes comes as easy as the stroke of a brush, and other times as wearing as sharpening a pencil with a knife.

My marriage is currently growing leaps and bounds due to the amount of  *pressure* and *trials* we have been through in this last year.

My husband and I deal with *trouble* in different ways. I’m usually the one that melts down only to calm down after I’ve vented.

He’s usually the one who stays calm and rational and balances me out.

When my husband gets “down” , it is difficult for me to bring him “back”.

Its as if he “checks out” and becomes consumed by his own thoughts, his own need to “fix” things ….and I sometimes find myself feeling left out when I need him the most.

Recently, I brought this to his attention.

“It’s ok that you’re having a bad day,” I said. “it’s ok that today you just don’t feel like pressing, or talking through, or smiling, or pretending. All that is ok. But I want you and your bad attitude to come to ME. Don’t push me away. I want you, your bad attitude, your “I don’t want to talk” feelings and gestures, and I want you with me …in this moment. You are not alone. ”

Reverb

It was as if someone had taken over my voice and not only spoken through me, but to me.
I don’t know how you handle difficult things in life, but there have been MANY times I have run away from God instead of into God.

I’ve chosen to hold everything in because maybe my feelings didn’t seem appropriate to bring to a holy God. I’ve decided to try to solve my problems on my own because I’ve convinced myself that I must have done something to deserve them, and I in turn have to fix them. I’ve chosen to refrain from pouring out my heart to God in fear that my requests are selfish or wrong. I’ve held back….because I didn’t trust that a perfect God could love me….when I’m depressed, self-righteous, inconsistent, faithless, unforgiving, overwhelmed or just plain angry.

Just as I love my husband even when his body language says “leave me alone”…..God loves me….God loves us….beyond our walls.

 

I was reminded of this song that I love so much.

Reminded that God is a “present” Help in the time of trouble. {Psalm 46:1)

Reminded that I am the apple of His eye and He will hide under the shadow of His wings {Psalm 17:8)

 

He’s there…and wants to be there…..right in the thick of my “issues”….He’s there.

He offers me to “come”….and He’ll give me rest. {Matt 11:28}

What a joy.

As I walk through life with my husband, I am learning more and more about the Father’s love for us.

It holds us.

It keeps us.

It is with us.

Love never fails……

Be the Answer (HisLove : revealed)

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I work part time.

I’m a wife….all the time.

I’m a mommy to 2 little people who demand lots of attention.

My daily routine consists of diaper changes, at least 100 questions, baths, bed time stories, quality time, scheduling, and lots of driving.

I am also a psalmist.

I write songs.

I lead worship.

I speak prophetically.

I teach.

I exhort.

I love to minister God’s word whether through song or exhortation and long for the day when this can again be my full-time “job” if you will.

Last weekend I had the pleasure of surprising a pastor on his 8th pastoral anniversary. I met he and his wife when he was an associate minister at a church I used to lead worship at from time to time. I was in my very early 20’s when I met them, and although ministering frequently, I was still new to ministry and looked up to them as a couple.

When his wife found out I’d be in town for another engagement, she asked me to come and minister as a surprise gift to him. “You’re his favorite worshiper” she said.

Certainly I’d known that God had knit our hearts in a way, but his “favorite” worshiper? She was being all to kind I thought.

On Sunday morning, my family and I hid in a multi-purpose room until the time came for me to sing. As the pastors wife read my bio and I walked to the pulpit, the pastor wept…and wept…and wept, and embraced me for what seemed like an eternity. By the time I spoke prophetically over his life under the direction of the Holy Spirit, I was full and overflowing with agape love for this pastor, his wife and congregation. There was an immediate threading between us, and I felt the weight of my being there.

Before leaving after church, the pastor grabbed me and said, “You & your husband can not possibly know how much it meant to me that you were here today. This morning I was discouraged to the point of breaking down. I was hurting and laying my requests before the Lord although I’d already concluded He wouldn’t hear me. I was tired. I was tired. And you lifted me. YOU were the answer to my prayers.”

Heart….stop.

This…..this is the reason I love to minister to God’s people.

This is the the reason I press even when I’m tired and burnt out.

This…this is the reason I stand and declare the word of the Lord without doubt when I myself am waiting in “the land between” for God’s deliverance and restoration.

This….this….this is the reason the heartbreak of what happened to us in California…..
the heartbreak of all that we lost…the heartbreak of deception and manipulation has not and will not deter me from pursuing my purpose in Christ.

I am anointed. I am chosen. I am commissioned to bring hope to the hopeless….

life to things that have died….

joy to those who are hurting….

I am the answer to someone’s prayers….ONLY because of and for the glory of JESUS.

Someone needs your song. Someone needs your smile. Someone needs your time. Someone needs that money you’ve been saving. *yep, I’m going there* Someone needs that house you’re trying to rent out but can afford to just GIVE. Someone needs you to overcome your trial so that they can overcome theirs. Someone needs your forgiveness. Someone needs your prayer.

Someone needs you.

And I believe Jesus is asking you….

Will you be the answer?